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The Magical Fairy Princess Unicorn of Limited Penetration
For DM’s- this is good comic relief for any adventuring party. The Magical Fairy Princess Unicorn of Limited Penetration (hereby abbreviated MFPULP) is the primary means of transportation for the adventuring party of the same name. Essentially the MFPULP is the disembodied spirit of a "My Little Pony" unicorn that came to possess an airship that was being stolen by The Drunken Ranger when he was looking for suitable transportation for he and his comrades to escape from Darren the Lord of Life's fortress. After acquiring the airship the MFPULP adventuring party began to repaint and rename their vessel with a more appropriately intimidating and fear inducing name and theme: The Dragon Warship of Unlimited Penetration. The adventurers were oblivious to the sentient and deeply wussy nature of their vehicle and almost immediately upon making the changes the paint faded away and was replaced by the image of a prancing unicorn in a field of flowers, sparkling sunbeams and a great big happy rainbow. To the adventurers chagrin the name The Magical Fairy Princess Unicorn of Limited Penetration was the airships name and could not be removed no matter how much paint was applied and re-applied to it. After a time (like a reluctant parent’s acceptance of a child’s alternative lifestyle choice) the MFPULP was accepted for what it was by the adventuring party. As the adventuring party and their unconventional transport gained in reputation across the land, the name of the party become synonymous with that of their airship and to their utter frustration and anger they became known widely as the adventuring party of The Magical Fairy Princess Unicorn of Limited Penetration. The relationship between the adventurers and the MFPULP continued to grow and even continued after the party was sucked into a trans-portal dimension and put into space time limbo for ten thousand years only to emerge in a distant cyber fantasy future. In that distant future the MFPULP party acquired a 1969 VW Bus which immediately assumed the spirit, name and decor of their old airship. The MFPULP VW bus is equipped with bean bag seating in back, a compact pipe organ which the Freaky Deaky Gnome summoner plays at inopportune moments and a giant hooka (tobacco only;). ---- Party members Faren Dwarfrunner- a stocky dwarf known mostly for his ancient golden axe(+5)- acquired, at the glorious solid gold tipped Bromesphere peak, from the dead corpse of High Dwarf King Bromestonas. Faren's role in the MFPULP is little more than a meat shield, mysteriously having the maximum hit points a 9th level dwarven fighter can possibly have?... Having been the only member of the party to survive the necromancer's "slay living" ability, he likes to think of himself as immortal. This is also partially due to the fact that he has a vague sense of self preservation, unlike his fellow party members. He and Brock Samson are the only people who will touch "The Gnome." Freaky Deaky Gnome Summoner- The true name of this particular member of the MFPULP adventuring party is of little consequence (I think it's something stupid and unoriginal...like Fizban)... if you ever meet him you will not forget him. Originally the Freaky Deaky Gnome joined the MFPULP to bring a powerful summoner to a mostly magic-userless party. His summoning ability was overshadowed quite early by an uncanny ability to cast incredibly powerful combat spells such as lighting bolts and fireballs. He is mostly known for his sexual deviancy, which is apparent in everything he does... even his lightning bolts are perverted. Nevertheless he still keeps his summoning abilities sharp and is universally known for being the first summoner to call forth a Chocolate Elemental -quick thinking on his part while the MFPULP fought an assortment of demonic candy creatures at Notsoru's robot factory-just imagine Willy Wonka's edible garden on Crack, PCP and CHARLIE SHEEN... Freaky Deaky carries an assortment of magic and non-magic items, he has a box of holding, and a scourge whip which he likes to use on himself as much as on enemies. He abhors clothing and in the past was well known for going "commando" under his summoning robes. Not a pretty site considering how often his 50 pound frame is launched through the air or tumbled head over heals by angry monsters who are not amused by being blasted by a 8d10 lighting bolt. After traveling ten thousand years into the future with the rest of the MFPULP, Freaky discovered brightly colored banana sling thongs and usually wears them exclusively no matter what the weather... an even more unpleasant sight for all party members involved. He finally met his fate after the MFPULP had their infamous falling out, when the party took sides to settle a long standing rivalry of hatred between The Gnome Summoner and The Necromancer. At the end of the cataclysmic quarrel all members of the MFPULP lay dead except for the three dwarven fighters who made up with each other after a ten minute pistol standoff and took the 69 VW Bus to go get an ale. The Necromancer- Joined the MFPULP party after making the acquaintance of the Drunken Ranger and agreeing to help free the rest of the party from Darren the Lord of Life's mountain fortress. The Necromancer blasts evil from every orifice and is known to cause magical blindness when detect evil is caste his way. Divine intervention prevents him from killing just about everything and everyone he comes in contact with- including his fellow adventurers of the MFPULP. Nonetheless he is a invaluable member of the party and can call upon undead armies to bring forth destruction when needed. After conquering Carsu's vampire castle he managed to talk some of his companions out of the most powerful magical items among the loot. Among these items were "The Eye of Vecna" and the "Hand of Vecna" which, after severing his own hand and poking out his own eye to be replace with, had the ironically calming effect of making The Necromancer go from chaotic evil to neutral evil. In addition the hand gives The Necromancer super human crushing strength and the eye allows inconsistent and mostly trivial glimpses of the future... he usually has visions of the parties future dinner plans and bowel movements...to his complete frustration. Brock Samson- The only character of good alignment in the adventuring party MFPULP. He fancied him self a "Tall Dwarf" due to his high strength and low charisma, but sadly his human form could not change that. He joined the party in Ports town in a small tavern, being nothing more than a sword for higher for most of his lonely life. Brock felt a good dungeon hack job was just what he needed to take his blues away, little did he know what incredible and obnoxious adventures awaited him. Throughout the MFPULPs' notorious and often stupid exploits, Brock found him self happy to be part of a family, albeit an awkward and dysfunctional one. He earned his rightful place as a BAMF while fighting Sonny Salencrest, the demonic clown in Portal town. After being imbued with magical super strength by the Gnome, on top of his already titanic strength, he rolled a 20 on attack and not only broke the clown's magical scimitar in half but also cut the clown directly in half. Unfortunately in the final falling out battle of the MFPULP, Brock sided with the Necromancer wanting to kill the golden axe wielding dwarf who sided with the gnome. He met his fate by committing suicide so the dwarf would not get the pleasure of killing him by running him over with the MFPULP. The Drunken Ranger- hmmm... not really a ranger, more a land pirate with a preference for independence and outdoor living. Nonetheless one of the founding members of the MFPULP and a formidable character... at least when not drunk out of his mind. The Drunken Ranger was known for his mountaineering skills and his affability with animals. His social skills with humans are lacking and he tends to berate and verbally abuse even the most powerful characters in the most inappropriate situations. Even Thalgon Mindgab (think the Gandolf, Eliminster, or Dumbledore of Portalworld) can't stand his antics and thought twice about putting his mangled body back together after he was pretty much vaporized by a 26d10 lightning bolt (I will tell that story for another time.) His animal companion, the grizzly bear "Cindy" is never far from him and she has been known to get The Drunken Ranger out of trouble, mostly caused by his alcoholism, more than a dozen times. When too drunk to be of any use to the party, the Gnome usually summons a floating globe of protection for the ranger, which he usually promptly fills with vomit and can be towed around until he sobers up enough to be useful. His chronic stubbornness and inebriation did come in use once when the rest of the MFPULP were captured by one of Darren The Lord of Life's magical traps. The Drunken Ranger was on one of his drunken temper tantrums having left the party and avoided the trap. After sobering up he reluctantly decided to free his humanoid companions from Darren's mountain Fortress. He befriended The Necromancer and together they hatched a scheme to free the rest of the MFPULP. During the raid The Drunken Ranger is responsible for acquiring the possessed airship "The Magical Fairy Princess Unicorn." The Drunken Ranger never traveled into the future with the rest of the MFPULP and died after a "Leaving Las Vegas" style suicide in Portal Town. The Rogue- The only female member of the MFPULP, she is your classic skin tight bodysuit wearing, deadly female, ice cold killer. Just imagine Laura Croft, or Kate Beckinsale in "Underworld" but even hotter and far more deadly and you get the idea. Her pick pocketing skills are strong, but in the MFPULPS adventures her move silently and backstabbing abilities came in most handy. She has a 100% chance to “detect noise” and uses it whenever she hears anything;) After traveling to the future she quickly adapted to firearms and became deadly at distance with her .308 sniper rifle. In close combat she adopted twin nickel top Sig 226’s that can lay down a suppressive barrage of fire while The Rogue moves away from close combat to pick off enemies at a distance. She had a long time crush on The Bard but mostly kept it to herself throughout years of adventuring side by side with him. Their hidden affection came to a violent end when the MFPULP had their infamous falling out, in which The Rogue took one side and The Bard took the other… read on to hear all the tawdry details. The Bard- The stringed instrument wielding singing buffoon. Seen by most in the MFPULP as completely useless, at least until he unleashes a deafening shockwave from his magical lute which mostly blasts the eardrums of enemies, but also every now and then leaves the dwarves ears ringing for an hour or so. Mostly useful for singing lullabies to help the MFPULP sleep during the long cold nights traveling, and telling the incredible stories of the MFPULP’s adventures to groups of children. The Bard learned to adapt to the future quite well and mastered the electric guitar and then used it for his sonic blast attack. He also keeps a keytar and a purple sport jacket with a lime green T-shirt for special occasions. Like The Rogue, The Bard also had a reciprocal crush which was not revealed until the final battle of the MFPULP. As tensions flared and firearms were drawn The Bard and Rogue found themselves on opposite sides of a divided adventuring party. When a fight to the death seemed likely, and the long time companions unleashed years of anger towards each other, The Rogue immediately broke away heading to the high ground where she could engage at an effective range with her rifle. She then began picking off adventurers and put The Necromancers side on the defense. After hiding behind a tree and narrowly being missed by a sizzling .308 round The Bard suddenly had a brilliant idea, he immediately began singing The Players 1978 hit “Baby Come Back.” As he came out from behind his cover the serenade reached The Rogues ears her crosshairs covered The Bards center mass, she then broke down in tears, dropped her rifle and began to run with her arms spread wide to her long time crush. She drew near The Bard and upon entering effective range he drew his .44 magnum and blew her head wide open. It took a moment to sink in but as the reality of what he had just done hit him, The Bard then turned the .44 on himself and ended it then and there… a tragic end for the star-crossed lovers.